BREAKING: Computer Science Department employs Jack Poole
The Department of Computer Science employs international student Jack Poole as new college assistant
In a bold and controversial move by the administrative team at Hunter College's Department of Computer Science, Australian student and hockey legend Jack Poole has been employed as a college assistant working closely with the maintenance of the computer science department's website.
The decision came after department chair and local computer whiz Professor William Sakas realised the need for an extra set of hands to help organize the overwhelming amount of data with which the department's administrative team deals on a daily basis.
Since the commencement of his employment last week, Poole has demonstrated, contrary to popular concern, his invaluable effect on productivity within the department. However, while a largely beneficial addition to the team, many are questioning the decision to allow Poole to publish news items on the department's website, with one undergraduate student arguing that Poole's articles are "just stupid narcissistic jokes that aren't even real news". The student, whose name has been omitted for their own safety, has since declared they will be majoring in gender studies and minoring in art history.
Please join us in welcoming the latest addition to the faculty of the computer science department!